I hit burn out point
I didn’t actually realise I hit burn out until my mum recognised the signs.
Your cup is empty and it is not a good place to be in. If you have ever been burnt out and had nothing left to give then I am sure you know the signs. If not…. here is what was going on with me:
becoming increasingly negative (and I am usually such a positive person)
unmotivated with anything and everything from work to exercise to social events and I was always thinking ‘what’s the point’
emotional and angry… 24/7
constantly tired no matter how much sleep I got – always wanted to nap
starting to feel a lot of anxiety which I had never had before and any self-love I had before had also disappeared
also eating junk a lot and seem to procrastinate every day as my concentration levels were so low and I just constantly felt like I wasn’t accomplishing anything
I worked for myself and I can honestly say I use to love my job but I noticed I started dreading work and hating every single task I had to undertake. When you are self-employed you NEED to love your job, I mean why else would you sacrifice money, time and take on a lot of stress? The passion I once had for SarSee had completely disappeared.
To be honest being an entrepreneur is hard work! Running SarSee was like no other job I had ever done. I had to wear so many hats on a daily basis and over time this took it’s toll. This is basically what the past year of life looked like:
I ran my own fashion retail shop where I not only had to work the front end of the shop but also do all the designing, patterning, sampling, grading, cutting, sewing, marketing, accounting, fabric buying, photo shoot – literally everything for running a business. I quite often worked 6-7 days a week and even if I was at home resting I would be thinking about work or working on my laptop or phone (work never ends)
Money stress was a huge thing for me – I had never been in debt and running a business you are constantly in and out of debt which I struggled with
Had little to no pay for myself – the business took everything I had (started SarSee from nothing and very little to my name)
Moved house 3 times and moved business as well
Also moved towns or rather into the country which was a big change for me and kind of isolating (I am a people person)
Like most – relationship problems on and off
And just every day stress like everyone else that was taking it’s toll along with all of the above
So it was really early 2018, January – April that the burn out really took place and knocked me for six.
After my talk with mum, I went for coffee with a dear friend and kind of opened up to her more about where I was and what I was feeling. She also mentioned that I hadn’t been myself for some time (something others were also saying to me). With all these people saying that the ‘happy go lucky’ Sarah has disappeared it actually made me step back and look at what was happening to me.
My mum organised a few days away for me (by myself) at the beach. Taking time off from your own business is hard which I am sure other entrepreneurs understand. But it was the best thing that I did – for my mind, body and soul. Disconnecting from work and everything around me and just focussing on the things I loved – exercising, climbing the mount, walking along the beach, reading, eating healthy and hanging out with my niece – was amazing!
During these few days away I sat down with a diary and instead of doing the normal ‘write down all the things you love about your life” that all the books tell you to do, I sat down and wrote down everything I hated about my life. Then I looked at each one and worked out why it made me unhappy and burnt out and what I can do to change it.
From there I started changing the things I could and also gave myself the time and love to rest / heal. I stopped trying to do crazy HIIT sessions all the time and just focussed on walking (10,000 steps a day),slept when I needed to, read books at night after work instead of working more or being on social media and I listened to podcasts about health and wellbeing and happiness (I learnt A LOT!). I also sat down with my partner and talked about things that was stressing me out – probably something I should have done ages ago as he cleared it all up and helped me see that I didn’t have to stress about any of it – especially money!!
It was also during this time that I decided to give SarSee up.
Yes it has been my dream and goal for a long time but when I realised I no longer had the passion for it and dealt with the ‘failure’ that came with that, it was such a weight off my shoulders. I realised my goals and dreams had shifted but I always thought I had to keep going with SarSee because what would people think (especially my friends and family) and what would my loyal customers wear etc. but you know what? At the end of the day none of that matters – my own happiness and health is my first priority and if my heart wasn’t in SarSee any more than it wasn’t any good for anyone.
Don’t get me wrong though! The thought of not having SarSee or going out to work for someone else instead of myself had me scared as hell – petrified even. SarSee had been everything to me for 5 years (3 in business & 2 in study) and I didn’t even know who I was without SarSee. But still deep within I knew I had to make changes so I could love my life again and refill my cup.
So I set up new goals to accomplish and put plans in place to reach them. I started practising gratitude and just being really grateful for everything I had right now in front of me each day. This definitely helped the mind-set too!
I can now say I’m definitely not at the burn out point I was a few months ago. I have made SO many changes in my life since closing SarSee at the end of May and I still have loads more changes to go (one change is blogging to help YOU live YOUR best life!)
If you are reading this and feel you are burnt out and at your wits end then please recongise it and be kind to yourself. Make sure you rest and make your own health and wellbeing a priority. You are important! Maybe do what I did if you can and take a few days off work, go somewhere you love, write the list of what’s making you unhappy and then work out what you can do to fix it or change those part of your life so you can get back on track. If you need help then ask for it too!
I hope this helped even one person in one way or another. Look after yourself! As I said before YOU ARE IMPORTANT and remember to make sure you are living your best life! Life should be fun, happy and full of love majority of the time. Everyone has stress and times when they feel a bit flat… but it doesn’t need to be (and shouldn’t be) all the time.
Remember this quote by David Allen